If you have never experienced the emotional roller coaster of infertility, it can be easy to say something insensitive to someone who is struggling to get pregnant. And, while you may come from a good place and you are not intentionally saying something judgmental or hurtful, it doesn't mean we shouldn't learn how to react or have a conversation regarding fertility. 1 in 6 U.S. couples face difficulties conceiving so, it's quite likely you know someone that doesn't have kids but would like to, whether or not they choose to disclose that information.
"I bet you would be able to get pregnant if you could relax"
Telling someone to relax and 'let it happen' is, for lack of a better word, ridiculous. The mind-body connection is not to be disregarded but you cannot assume the reasons behind one's infertility nor can you assume what treatment options they may have already tried.
"Kids are such hard work, you're better off"
It may sound logical and comforting to a parent with little ones that a friend without kids does not have to deal with sleepless nights, cluster feeding, and toddler tantrums. However, this is an incredibly insensitive and hurtful statement. Those who are having fertility challenges are acutely aware of the parenting struggles that come with having kids and would happily deal with lack of sleep for a chance to get pregnant and have a baby.
Secondary infertility is real and also emotionally painful
Secondary infertility is when a couple has one child who was naturally conceived, is unable to get pregnant again. Couples with secondary infertility are generally told to 'be happy with what they have' and 'you should be happy, you have one healthy baby'. Secondary infertility should be treated with as much respect care as infertility.